Gender Bending

I’ve thought gender bending is sexy for a long time. In high school I thought Frank from Rocky Horror was damn sexy. Like, I-want-Frank-to-fuck-me-sexy.  It was something about that corset and heels and masculine frame and in-charge attitude. I know, it’s a little weird, but I’m ok with that. 

 Wish I could give photo credit, 

but I have no idea where I got this

Ever seen  Kinky Boots? Well you should. Charlie in thigh high boots and a business shirt – yummy.  The drag queen, Lola – yep, wanted to be on her too.

More recently I’ve been paying more attention to the female side of gender bending. Drag kings – yes please. Androgyny– wolf. I’m not sure what it is about the idea of a female bodied stud wearing a packer that turns me on so much, but it does. I don’t know why I like a feminine looking woman wearing men’s clothing that hide the curves I so love, but I do.

All this thinking about what turns me on made me think about how I present myself to others and how I try to make myself attractive.  How To Be Butch has a great post about this.  When I started going out in my BigCity queer scene a couple years ago, I dressed very feminine, carried a purse and wore heels. That is, until some femme chick in a skirt said to me, “why are you carrying a purse? You look like a straight girl – can’t you just put everything in your pockets?”  I had just bought myself a new Coach purse that year, but holy shit, I did NOT want to be identified as the straight girl. How would I get hit on?

I lost the purse and traded in my cleavage shirts for button downs and ties. I put the heels and huge earrings back on and felt more comfortable.  I dated one woman who liked my cleavage, and I brought out those shirts again. I dated another chick who liked her girls butchier and I put them away again, wore less make up, and didn’t like how I looked. I put the earrings and make up back on and she teased me.

Since then, I’ve become much more confident and comfortable in my own skin, my BigCity queer scene, and whatfuckingever clothes I want to wear.  I love my dykey hair cut, knee high boots and dresses, or my tough-guy jacket, lipstick and button down. I do what feels good. What feels me. Oh yeah, and I don’t worry about getting hit on anymore ‘cause I’m happy to say hi to a pretty girl (or sexy boi).