Alone

Woke up thinking about her. Not a good sign.  No – I woke up twice thinking about her. Once at 2:25am, thinking about texting her to come over since she was probably still awake; again when I woke up later that morning.  Is that why I’m in a funk?

Why did I blow off that other girl?  I was tired and feeling off. Did it have to do with her – the one I woke up thinking about? Is that why I feel this way? I can’t tell.

Walking home that night with my arms around myself, I felt the snugness of my jacket around my shoulders as I walked past her street.  The snugness of my jacket, the tightness of my belt are reminders that I am… alone.

She’s leaving at the end of the week. Or so I thought. Maybe another week, another month. Maybe gone and back again. Too long to get attached. Too long to be confused, be torn apart, be fucked. My heart says I want to go sleep in her bed. My head says stay in my own.