Power lesbians

A similar crowd is found within the queer party scene I frequent, and among them those self-appointed power lesbian group.  The party girl, the philanthropist, the artist, the lawyer, the musician, the gender queerbie. They seemed to know everyone, and when I was I much newer to this scene, this group seduced me. I wanted to be seen and known and accepted into the inner circle.  The closer I got, though, the more I realized how  they’re mostly like this: 

Ms. lawyer was working on a charity project outside of work and was recruiting some extra help. Through a friend, I heard about it and got involved – it was a good project.  I was working on her social media strategizing and working on the website design.  We recently had a disagreement that went something like this:

Me - “Dear Ms. Lawyer, I think what you’re doing is awesome.  Since we hadn’t had a conversation about this, I was unaware you were going to publish what I sent you.  Please let me know when you’re going to use my designs before publishing them in the future. I’m so glad to be a part of this project, keep up the good work!”

Her – “Dear LL, my project is pretty amazing, and a lot of people think so, and a lot of people are working on it, so if you don’t want to be involved, just let me know ASAP.”

Me – “Dear Ms. Lawyer, like I said, I really am happy to be a part of your social action project, it’s super fantastic, and I’m glad it’s so successful. Just a heads up would be nice!”

Her – takes down my designs without any further conversation

I am constantly amazed by the willingness of adults to act like petulant children whose toys are taken away when receiving any kind of criticism.  I actually do think what she’s doing is awesome and important, and I was, in fact, happy to be a part of it.   The passive aggressive response surprised me, especially since I don’t know her well and was interacting on a mostly professional level.  As someone in professional graduate school, I don’t quite understand how people get away with such unprofessional behavior. I mean, she is a lawyer, I would think she would need to be better behaved.  Maybe I’ve been so well indoctrinated with the value of receiving constructive criticism; I’m unaware of how many people find it offensive? I’m glad to be distanced from it though. If I can’t make a suggestion or a request without igniting some wicked insecurities that are not my problem, I will quietly make my exit now.